


Fifty

by Dusty_Forgotten



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Bisexuality, F/F, F/M, Humor, Multi, Promiscuity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-08 00:44:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4284192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dusty_Forgotten/pseuds/Dusty_Forgotten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Courier is a total sex fiend. Seriously, ask anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fifty

“You don’t need fifty.”

The Courier put her hands on the table and leaned forward menacingly. “I _need_ fifty.”

“Every King in Freeside doesn’t need fifty.” Ralph shot back.

Six narrowed her eyes. “ _I_ need fifty.”

The merchant shook his head. “That’s my entire stock, just- come back in six months when you need more, okay?”

“This is a month’s supply.”

“A month!?”

Arcade, who had been standing silently in the background, nodded gravely.

Ralph didn’t take his warning. “No one can use fifty condoms in a month.”

Her expression looked like she took that as a personal challenge.

“You do not have that many sexual partners in a month. It’s just not possible.”

Arcade nodded furiously, with the face of a man who had witnessed the impossible on a triple dog dare.

She straightened up from his desk. “The King, Pacer, James Garret, Old Ben, Nero, Swank, Benny, Tommy Torini-”

“Sarah Weintraub.” Arcade added helpfully, untucking one arm to hold up a finger.

“Mortimer-”

“And Marjorie.”

She turned towards Arcade, counting on her own hands. “Red Lucy, Sargeant Bitter-Root, Lieutenant Boyd, Colonel Hsu, Jack and Diane, Jessup...”

“Who once buried her alive, by the way.”

“You’re kidding.” Ralph gaped.

“Yeah, don’t I wish?”

“...Harland, Manny Vargas, Dead Sea, Lucius, Silus, Calamity, Mick over there...”

“What!?” Ralph shrieked, glaring at his partner.

Mick stepped closer to enter the conversation instead of just eavesdropping. “Guilty.”

Ralph stared at him, and Mick just shook his head. The Courier was still listing names. “That’s actually really impressive.”

“Not as impressive as her handjob.” Arcade muttered, then threw up his hands. “So I’ve heard! I’m really, very, just _so_... gay, is that a toaster?”

Mick chuckled as the doctor walked down one of the aisles. “Yeah, I can vouch for that.”

Ralph shook his head in disbelief. “Okay, okay! You’ve made your point!”

“So you’ll give me fifty?”

He sighed deeply. “Forty-five. You’ve gotta leave me something.”

She leaned over the desk. “Fifty, and I’ll use one on you.”


End file.
